Cancel The Debt
Sermon Title – The Pattern Of Forgiveness
Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 TLB
31 Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.
If we’re not careful, we start keeping a ledger of wrong in our hearts.
And the longer we carry it - The heavier our hearts become.
Bitterness NEVER stays small – it spreads.
Ephesians 4:31 ESV
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Bitterness = Pikria = acidic taste, sour, or poisoned.
It describes a heart that has become hardened by unresolved hurt….it really is painting a picture of someone with DEEP-seated hatred.
Progression of unforgiveness
Hurt → Offense → Bitterness → Hostility
Hebrews 12:15 NLT
15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
A bitter heart CANNOT forgive.
Ephesians 4:32 ESV
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Pattern Of Forgiveness
1. Remove The Poison
Ephesians 4:31 ESV
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
2. Replace It With Grace
Ephesians 4:32 ESV
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
You can’t just remove bitterness. You have to replace it with something better.
3. Root It In The Gospel
Mark 11:25 NLT
25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.[a]”
Ephesians 4:32 ESV
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
When you remember how much you’ve been forgiven, It becomes impossible to live with a clenched heart.
Forgiveness is not pretending the wound never happened.
Forgiveness is choosing not to collect the debt anymore.
Forgiveness is not saying what they did was okay.
Forgiveness is saying:
I refuse to let what they did control my heart anymore.
I refuse to carry this offense for the rest of my life.
The difference between vs 31 and vs 32 is the cross!
Talk It Over Questions
1. When you hear Paul say, “Let all bitterness be put away,” what warning do you think he is giving believers? Why do you think bitterness is so dangerous to a heart, a family, or even a church?
2. In the sermon we talked about keeping a “ledger” in our hearts. What does that look like in real life? Have you ever caught yourself replaying an offense or reminding yourself of what someone did?
3. Which part of the pattern of forgiveness is hardest for you right now?
• Removing the poison (being honest about the hurt)
• Replacing it with grace (releasing the debt)
• Rooting it in the gospel (remembering how much you’ve been forgiven)
Why do you think that step is difficult?
4. How does remembering how much God has forgiven you change the way you view the person who hurt you? Read Ephesians 4:32 again. What does it look like to forgive someone “as God in Christ forgave you”?
5. What’s the difference between forgiveness and restoration? Are there relationships in your life where you need to forgive someone in your heart but still establish healthy boundaries?
6. As a group – don’t rush this question. Take a quiet moment and honestly ask the Lord: “Jesus, is there anyone I’m still holding a debt against?” Sit with that question for a minute. Did a name, face, or situation come to mind? If so, what would it look like for you to begin releasing that to God this week?
Ask Your Kids
1. What does it mean to stay connected to Jesus?
2. What are some ways you can grow closer to Him?
3. How can your life help others?
4. What “fruit” do you want God to grow in you?
